Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Running diary of the Big Prime Time Barack Obama Election Extravaganza!

He just lost votes in Philadelphia by delaying the World Series game even more.

7:01 "I'm Barack Obama and I approve this message." I feel more inspired already.

7:02 Hey, this isn't in hi-def! Maybe it can be interpreted as a dig against McCain, champion of hi-def conversion. But almost definitely not.

7:02 Let's see how many battleground states he can feature and/or name drop tonight.

7:03 Lovely warm wood paneled office-type background. Coupled with the warm acoustic guitar music, it's obviously very reassuring. Like a barbecue restaurant.

7:04 Telling a story about a woman from North Kansas City (Missouri) with approximately 20 kids.

7:05 The family with 20 kids just can't make enough money to get by, especially with hubby's knee injury. Try having fewer kids.

7:07 Obama explains why everything is bad with the economy by talking about the skyrocketing deficit. The next sentence, he's talking about tax cuts and spending increases. Ron Paul, meet Lyndon Johnson.

7:08 "Tax cut for families making less than $200,000"? Uh oh. The republicans will see that number shrinking by $50,000 and grab a hold of it. Is this $50,000 difference from previous policy his October surpise?

7:10 BB King's house is in trouble? Noooo!

7:11 Larry (BB King) puts on a Wal Mart name tag to avoid foreclosure, but he doesn't make enough money as an "Associate salesman". There's your liberal wal mart jab.

7:12 So much wood! And that's not just Chris Matthew's leg thrill.

7:13 Natural gas reserves! He sends a yippie kiy yay T Boone's way.

7:15 Energy policy leads to Iraq policy pretty seamlessly.

7:16 Big ups to the 505!

7:17 Nice albuquerque scenes during the special needs segment. Maybe he'll shoot a scene in Oklahoma. Oh wait, he has yet to set foot in this state this year.

7:18 Ooh, Barack Hussein Obama Sr sighting! "He's not like us!!!!" say the Republicans. But it's okay, because the family history stuff is backed by warm acoustic guitar. Feel secure, America.

7:19 Lots of scenes from the Barackropolis from the Denver convention. On a prime time infomercial. Before a Daily Show appearance. What ego!

7:20 Missouri, Colorado, New Mexico ... Wonder where he's aiming his message.

7:20 Talking about the death of his mom to segue from health care policy. Sad piano tinkles.

7:21 "My mother never saw her grandchildren. That breaks my heart!" Hugs to 44.

7:22 First time we see Michelle, Malia, and Sasha. "He read Harry Potter to her". Yeah! Pissing off the social conservatives!

7:23 Dick Durbin. And uplifting woodwinds.

7:24 "I watched him incisively question Condoleeza Rice ... This guy's good" - J. Biden. Incisively?

7:24 Story time with fat guy. He's from Kentucky. Wow, if Kentucky's now a battleground state, its a landslide against McCain.

7:25 You know what word I havent heard yet? Maaaverick.

7:25 See, Appalachians living near Kentucky. White people can vote for black people too.

7:26 National security policies: renew tough diplomacy, refocus on Al Qaeda, rebuild military. Yeah, um, the differences with McCain are striking...

7:26 Holy shit! They dug up John Adams to endorse Obama! Well, if the second president thinks he's worthy...

7:27 Okay, now entering the uplifting inspiring stump speech part of the show. And lots of major chords and long airy tones.

7:27 Bill Richardson's beard makes an appearance at the uplifting part of the show. That sort of brought me down a little, I have to admit.

7:28 Live from Florida! Wait, how's he going to make it to the Daily Show on time?

7:29 Okay, so this Florida Rallly is filmed in hi-def, but not in 16:9 ratio. Still 4:3

7:29 Denver, Cincinatti, Ft lauderdale all named dropped. "All across this nation" ... if you live in a swing state.

7:30 Good job with the uplifting string arrangement that sounds suspiciously like the Olympics theme.

7:31 Cuts nicely to the uplifting Fox Sports music before the World Series. Elections and baseball. Man, if only I was eating an apple pie.

7:36 First negative ad of the night. Aw, that's just a buzzkill, McCain. Didn't you hear that uplifting music?


sarah t. said...

yay! i missed it...thanks for the play by play!

Steve said...

Imagine if the Phillies lost that game 5, and then went down to St. Petersburg and lost two more games. Would that have been the start of the Curse of Barack Obama?

Jacob said...

Yup, and like all baseball "curses," would be ridiculous.

Was that St. Pius high school representing with the Albq. family? Maybe they'll wind up with twenty kids, too!

Did you notice that the speech from the convention was sans applause? Do you think he overdubbed it, or were they crafty enough to wash out the bleed from the audience?

Also, when I went to look up St. Pius on the wikipedia, I saw a listing for something called Volcano Vista High School. Please explain.

Steve said...

Albuquerque Public School's 12th regular high school, opened this year, built because of the ever-growing West Mesa, definitely the most retarded high school name now in the district as I pointed out to my dad when I first heard about it a couple of months ago. Why not just Volcano High School? Or even Vista High School? Because it would share an acronym with Valley High School.