Wednesday, September 26, 2007

The Bushie School of Positive Thinking and Economics

In a busy news week last week, what with the impending Ahmadinejad visit, the ongoing Jeffs and Spector trials, the reemergence of O.J., and Britney’s “adorable mistakes” that aren’t related to lack of underwear, a commonplace occurrence like George W. Bush saying something stupid can easily be glossed over.

President Bush was awkwardly holding a press conference involving the nation’s economy. When asked if there was a risk of a recession in the U.S. economy, the President replied, “You know, you need to talk to economists. Uh, I think I got a B in Econ 101, heh heh.” Well he obviously wasn’t talking about his college classes at Yale. It has already been shown that at Yale, Bush got a 71 and a 72 in two semesters of economics. But he wasn’t done yet! He goes on to say, “I got an A, however, in Keepin'-Taxes-Low, and Bein'-Fisky-Fiscally-Responsible-with-the-People’s-Money.” I don’t think Yale even offers classes with those titles. What school did Bush think he had attended?

Well, through some internet research, QP has found that apparently President Bush has an associates’s degree from the Bushie School of Positive Thinking and Economics, a 2-year community "internets-only" college located just outside Waco, Texas (he’s also head groundskeeper for his alma mater). But clearly, at the Bushie School, they participate in rampant grade inflation. Therefore, QP will try to correlate the grades given by the Fightin’ Tax Slashers of the Bushie School with more real-world grades.


Econ 101: The Basics

Anyone who got a C- in Economics should be able to tell you that when you increase spending (Iraq War, $600 billion since September 11, 2001) and you decrease revenue from taxes, you’re going to be in trouble financially speaking. Since Bush is not able to tell us this, it must be assumed that he would have done no better than a D in the real world.


BUSHIE GRADE: B
QP GRADE: D


Econ 201: Keepin’ Taxes Low

Well, he certainly did slash taxes, and this year the richest 1% will pay 3.1% less in income taxes than they did in 2000. The poorest 99% of us will only pay on average 1.4% less than we did in 2000. (Source: CBO) That’s $600 savings for the median income earner, and at least $10,850 in savings for the top 1%. Not to mention all the capital gains taxes and dividend taxes that President Bush cut, which benefit only people who invest money (not the poor). But it seems Bush studied hard for this class


BUSHIE GRADE: A
QP GRADE: A


Upper division course
Econ 301: Bein’ Fisky Fiscally Responsible with the People’s Money

His Bein’-Fisky-Fiscally-Responsible-with-the-People’s-Money course must have been a total blowoff, because he has certainly not demonstrated his capability to lessen government spending. The day Bill Clinton took office in January of 1993, the total outstanding public debt was about $4.1 trillion. Due to prior administration decisions, the debt grew in 1993 and 1994, but an economic boom and wiser money management kept the debt at about $4.9 trillion for most of 1995. The public debt lurched over $5 trillion for the first time on February 23, 1996. From then until September 11, 2001, a period of 67 months, the debt only grew by about $700 billion. Since that infamous day, the total public debt has skyrocketed. $6 trillion was reached for the first time seven months later, on March 14, 2002. $7 trillion was passed 22 months later on January 15, 2004, and $8 trillion was reached 21 months after that on October 18, 2005. Another 22 months went by before $9 trillion was reached for the first time last month. (Source: Treasury Dept.) It will take at least four more years to achieve surpluses again, according to the CBO, and that’s assuming that Bush cuts troops in Iraq substantially and doesn’t push for making his tax cuts permanent, which is unlikely.


BUSHIE GRADE: A
QP GRADE: F

BUSHIE GPA: 3.67
REAL-WORLD GPA: 1.67

Conclusions:

That degree's worthless.


- QP

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your brain is so hot. Can I touch it?

Alyson

Steve said...

Not 'til I'm dead.